


Your Ocean Eyes

by tenmillionfireflies



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bittersweet Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Intersex Omegas, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Omega Toushirou Hitsugaya, Soulmates, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:41:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26589790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenmillionfireflies/pseuds/tenmillionfireflies
Summary: A soulmate was only supposed to come around once in a lifetime. Toshiro had missed his chance.
Relationships: Hitsugaya Toushirou/Kusaka Soujirou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Your Ocean Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> i watched diamond dust rebellion with my server friends and anyways this happened
> 
> (more warnings in end notes) tagging as dubious consent because although toshiro does specifically say yes and want sex, he is going through a lot. He does not regret it after, but does wish he could have done more to help kusaka years ago.

The air around him was suffocating. When he sighs, a small cloud forms around his lips, blowing away with the cool breeze as he slumps against whatever he can lean on. It was cold. He had always been cold, but not like this. Not for a long time.

  
  


Small hands come away from his side wet with blood, crimson staining the pale of his skin as he keeps pressure on the wound.  _ Not fatal _ , at least for now, but it’s enough to knock the captain off his feet when he tries to stand tall. “Nothing that won’t heal.” Toshiro reminds himself, allowing his weight to fall and slumping against the weight of Hyorinmaru, tied securely to his hand with cloth bindings, as if he was afraid of it being taken away.

  
  


A small part of him wants to feel relieved with the pain at his side, away from what could have killed him. He wonders why he feels glad to know that he wouldn’t be scarred, not forever, in a way that would last. The omega pets gently over his abdomen, no longer feeling any telling rumble of hunger, and feels the soft skin that protects his womb. Something he never thought that he would need, yet something that brings him a small bit of comfort to know that after all of that, there is still a part of him that is right.

A hiss of pain leaves bite swollen lips as he falls back against the weight of the wall, the cold of the concrete scraping against his thighs and leaving the dullest sting as he tries not to put any weight around his wound. Toshiro never thought himself to be part of a family, or to want one of his own. Kusaka had been his family, for a while. An alpha he had met back in the academy. He swore that something drew him to Toshiro, giving him a bright smile, and violet eyes never looked at him with anything less than love.

  
  


“Do you believe in fate, Toshiro? That you were meant to be my mate?” Kusaka asked as he cupped Toshiro’s cheek in his hand, stroking gently at the pale skin as he sank into his palm and let out a soft purr. The swords they wield perfectly mirror each other, the cold radiating across their skin so brutal and so welcoming to each other. 

  
  


“I think I do.” He finally says, and for once, he feels at home in another's arms.

* * *

  
  
  


They took him away.

  
  


The anger is what overpowers the grief. Someone who might have seemed so stubborn, but kind, bares his teeth at anyone who dares to question him and never lets anyone get too close. They took him away, and his squad became the only thing left to him.

  
  


He remembers the scent that carries with the wind when they were escorting the Oin. A sharp scent that made his hair stand on end, an arctic breeze with pine, so powerful and alpha and almost suffocating. The way his body stops when he catches the scent, eyes sharp and focused as he scans the surrounding areas. He remembers next to nothing, after chasing him, aside from the pain.

  
  


The blade tore through his side when he lunged for this attacker, teeth bared and growling, refusing to believe just who might be in front of him, and even from this close, he can’t catch a scent over all of the smoke. The zanpakuto that pierces his skin is familiar, cold steel tearing away at the skin before it rips through his haori at the other side, and the captain takes a pained breath when the blade rips away and his attacker is gone. He hears Rangiku calling after him, but he can’t listen. He leaves behind his guilt when he runs.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Shinigami rarely dream, and still, he lives out a wonderful memory while he sleeps. Toshiro feels the cold at his hands and no longer pain in his body, the wind blowing through his hair and it carries a scent that feels so much like home. Even as the dream fades away, he still feels it. Pine and arctic air.

  
  


A choked gasp burns his lungs, the scent of what was once his alpha lingering in the air, on his clothes, and he scrambles to stand back up before the shadow of a figure steps out of the darkness. Everything he had learned was telling him to let go, to run, and still, he stands still as the figure approaches him.

  
  


Biting cold nips against his skin as pale fingers graze his jaw, stopping at his pulse to feel the heavy beat underneath, the way his breath hitches when those calloused fingers brush against his scent glands. Toshiro could never forget those eyes. Even in the dark, with their faint, familiar glow, he sees a fire lingering that never used to be there. He’s confused, and his hand stops before he can reach out to touch, to see what was real.

  
  


Kusaka gives him a faint smile, one that makes his heart lurch as he wills himself to pull away, to go back, and only manages to sink into his arms.

  
  


“I missed you, omega.”

  
  


He knows better. Hitsugaya was always smart, and yet nothing feels important as his eyes flutter shut and he leans into a familiar embrace.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Their lips crash together for what feels like the thousandth time, and yet it still doesn’t seem like it’s enough. The tan cloak falls away from his shoulders when Kusaka pulls at his clothes, gently hushing Toshiro when he winces, and he notices the stitched wound at his side, and something in his scent turns sad. “I never meant to hurt you.” He swears, and Toshiro believes him.

His heart thumps heavily in his chest as the hands that were always bigger than his wander down his chest, gently cupping his hip and pulling him closer. There’s nothing he aches for more in that moment, and can only feel whole when he straddles Kusaka’s lap and situated himself over his cock.

  
  
  


_ This will get me killed.  _ He can only think briefly, but his doubts are put to rest once he realizes, he couldn’t have returned anyway. Calloused fingers move between his thighs and gather slick from his cunt, spreading apart his folds before his partner guides him onto his length, and a small part of him breaks, letting out a choked sob when he’s fully seated.

  
  


“It’s okay, Toshiro.” Kusaka promises him, wiping away the tears that gather in the corner of turquoise eyes, giving him a smile as he kisses his cheek and nuzzles into his shoulder. “I won’t leave you again.”

  
  


The stinging stretch when his alpha thrusts is nothing compared to the pleasure and happiness that builds up inside of him, hips bucking into the hand that strokes his cock in time to the deep thrusts that leave his toes curling, but Toshiro can’t help wincing when he feels the knot slowly pushing inside of him, and lets out a whine that alerts Kusaka.

  
  


He’s a fool. He knows better than to try to have what he could never, no matter how much his heart wants it. The easiest yes he ever said in his life was when Kusaka asked to bite him, to leave a permanent claim on him, and he still knows the consequences he will never be free of. The captain sobs when sharp fangs pierce the gland in his neck, the mix of pleasure and pain making his body shake as he shakes and cums on the knot inside of him, tears even happy when his alpha praises him and feels the warmth of his spend inside of him.

  
  


Toshiro Hitsugaya was a fool, and he knows that, when Kusaka falls asleep and he leaves without saying goodbye.

  
  


* * *

  
  


He gets the chance he never had at Sogyoku hill. His arms tremble at his side as Kusaka slumps in his arms, and he can barely smell what little is left of pine and snow with the scent of copper hanging in the air, red bleeding onto his haori in a permanent mark that he knows he will never forget.

Kusaka still manages to let out a half hearted chuckle, even as he’s dying in his omega’s arms, and reaches around to run bloody fingers through snow white hair. “Guess this is it, huh? I think we did good.” He rasps, and with what little strength he has, he tucks his nose into Toshiro’s collar to give him a gentle nuzzle.

  
  


“Kusaka,” he begins, even as his voice breaks and tears flow freely from his eyes, losing his grip on his disappearing reiatsu. “I will always love you.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


It took time to repair the damage that Kusaka had caused, and a month goes by slowly. In the end, all of his anger and hate had faded away, and he had what little living part of him was left to say goodbye to. Toshiro wonders if he could have saved him, or if what he did was what pushed him over the edge, but he never says a word.

  
  


Rangiku always asks if he is okay. A grieving omega wasn’t a self-caring one, and she is sure to bring him whatever he needs, even when he doesn’t ask for it. His appetite had been mostly gone, and even without it, he still finds himself in the bathroom retching what little he had to eat in the morning.

  
  


“Captain?” A familiar voice calls through the door, and he spends the better part of his time there simply staring at the tiny swell on his abdomen, something that had grown with the healing scar at his side, and for the first time, his tears aren’t entirely sadness.

  
  


_ A piece of you will always be with me. _

  
  


He stands, Rangiku startling when the door opens and he approaches her, only to fall forward into her arms and grip her tightly.

  
  


“I’ll be okay.” He swears, and finally means it.

**Author's Note:**

> tiny bit of vomiting mentioned and some mentions of pain and being stabbed. i dont know how to write that. i am sorry.


End file.
